So Long Insecurity!

I’ve got to get this out in the open. As if you didn’t know already, but the truth is helping your man launch a church is hard work! I thought that was the hardest part, and in all reality, it is, at least emotionally speaking. But now here we are with our church launched and there are just a million or two things that have to be done. Between preparing for CatalystKIDS, responding to emails, working, raising a family, and loving on my husband I have somehow let a little of myself go! Yeah, I know, hard to believe (NOT!!!). Anyway, I read a post from a friend of mine talking about how you have to love yourself from the inside. I do, I think, maybe, a little, possibly?? No, really now, I do love some aspects of myself. But I believe, if every woman sat down and really thought about it, there is some aspect of her life she may feel insecure about! I just know it. The truth is I’ve been dying to start a Bible Study, one where I can be accountable and really dig in, yet at the same time with everything I have going on in my life I just don’t have loads of time. SO, I ordered this book:

and I’m going to take part in the Bible Study on the LPM BLOG and see what God has in store for me! I’m so excited. If anyone out there wants to do this with me, I’d love to see you on that blog and hear from you too! That’s all for now, I have a four year old just waiting to play some “Playmobile” and a two year old getting ready to wake from a nap wanting a manicure! SEE YA 🙂

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What fits me these days?

I haven’t written a post in so long I’m not totally sure where to even start! So, I’ll just start with last week! Here we are about 20 weeks into our church launch. I know if you read back to previous posts I constantly strugglewith this: where do I fit into this whole church thing? Really, what fits me in this church as ministry? I know my heart belongs to women’s ministry someday. But I also know that right now my heart belongs to four beautiful people: my wonderful and caring husband Michael, my hilarious four year old Aidan, my fun loving two year old Cameron, and my precious newborn Callie. To be honest, with such a young family my main focus is being home.

But truth be told when it comes to Catalyst Church I somehow found myself right in the center of CatalystKIDS- our children’s ministry at Catalyst Church. Since ministering here I have whole heartedly decided when we are able to have a children’s pastor I will bring them their favorite coffee each and every Sunday and send them thank you notes and make them dinner frequently! It’s a difficult ministry but a fun, rewarding, exciting, and life changing ministry at the very same time. But here is where I’m going with this post. About a year ago I was talking with someone about coming to Catalyst Church…this specific person, whom may I add, I love dearly! Wasn’t sure if Catalyst was where God wanted them. I asked why? (I just had to know…it’s not like me to leave well enough alone, but at the same time my relationship with this person is close enough I could ask why and not be condemned)…the reply was this:

Because I want to know I’m doing ministry for God, that I’m tithing for God, that I’m attending for God. Not for you and not for Michael!

At the time I settled for the answer but I really didn’t understand or wrap my mind around the concept at all. My how things change! This past Sunday, Catalyst Church, had their very first communion service. Our pastor had a special early service for all the people who were working in kids ministry that day (that blew my mind and I loved him for doing that…although I love him no matter what, but that’s beside the point right now). Anyway, I was able to take part in communion, to worship, to examine myself and suddenly, at the very front row of church that conversation came back and hit me square in the face! Why am I serving and serving in CatalystKIDS? Is it for my husband, is it just so the doors stay open each Sunday at Catalyst (how silly I would even think that I alone keep the doors open to something Christ wants in our community, surely if I didn’t do it He would provide! Funny how a girl can forget that!…ummm can I say more of You and less of me) is it for my kids? Is it for selfish reasons? Is it for the wrong reason? OR is it solely for JESUS? OUCH!!! Need I say more? I examined, I begged forgiveness, I asked God to use me like never before. Now, I have this burning desire to spend time with my Savior, to be in that children’ts atmosphere each week, to bring the lost children to Jesus! I can’t wait to spend next Sunday in CatalystKIDS! and to know whole heartedly, I’m there for the right reasons…FINALLY!

HELP!!!!!!!

I’m desperate to get into a GOOD Bible Study…I have somehow let that go on the wayside with everything that’s been going on lately! It’s no excuse whatsoever, but none the less it’s where I’m at. I’m not saying I have to have a long, in-depth study. I’m not sure at this point in my life that would actually be feasible. After all, I want it to be something I can hit everyday and grow spiritually. I’m thinking with two young children and another child on the way it may be absurd to think I can sit and do a 45-60 minute study each night or morning. So, here’s where all of you come in…does anyone know of a GOOD study out there? It can be on anything, throw some ideas out there and I’ll do the research from there on which study will best fit where I’m at spiritually right now! I’d love to hear your ideas and your input! Thanks so much! I’m dying to see who will respond to this post!!! Although I may have lost all my loyal readers cuz I seem to never post anymore. I’d love to tell you that will change, but lets not commit to something I can’t guarantee to come through on! Have a good night and start commenting! I can’t wait 🙂

The Waiting Game

Ever sit by the phone and wait for someone to call you? I am absolutely, positively, by no chance, one of those people. If people say they’re going to call me and they don’t I usually don’t mind at all. Matter in fact, I usually don’t even think about it again. There are a very few things in life that I truly can’t just let roll of my back, so to speak. I’m not a girl to hold grudges, I’m not a girl to get my hopes up much, I’m not a girl who sits and plays the waiting game with anyone really. Except for lately! I can’t say I’m sitting and waiting (cuz we all know I have two young kids), but I can say that I’ve gotten my hopes up. I think in the back of my head to myself “yeah, they’ll do it, they’ll come through, I just know they will. I mean they said it with their own lips”. The truth is, since I don’t usually get hung up on this stuff, when it finally happens and I do wait for a call, it kills me on the inside. I don’t necessarily begrudge the person who said it, but I get mad at myself for allowing this to happen! Life is crazy, it’s short, there’s so much that needs to be done, so why worry about someone who doesn’t come through? Honestly, why wait? I have to move on, I know I do, it’s just hard.

Wonder how God feels sometimes? Is he sitting by playing “the waiting game” for me, or for us? Man, I hope not! Today’s the day, I need to check myself! Am I playing that with God? Cuz it sure doesn’t feel good playing it with others, so I best not be playing it with Him! Are youplaying “the waiting game”? Are you leaving Him in the dust? Cuz He won’t play “the waiting game” for long. After all, life is too short, if we’re not willing to move in life for Him, He’s gonna go find someone else to do business for Him! Lord, may I allow You to use me to Your fullest potential, the potential that You planned me to be. May I not leave you waiting for me, use me to fulfill Your plans. Amen. On that note, stop waiting and just do it, I know I will. Have a great day 🙂phone-call

CONVICTION and the change that it brings…

Okay, so I am usually pretty good about what I put into my mind. I am a firm believer that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. And, to me that includes my mind. I try to guard my mind against certain things. How do I do this? I am careful about what I put in (or expose my mind to). This includes the magazines and books I read, the shows I watch on television, the movies I rent (or choose to see at theaters), and the music I listen to.

Well, I have to say, years ago, I was hooked on a certain television show, and then I was super convicted about this topic. That is when I decided to “clean up” my act. The show was Desperate Housewives, I felt that in the long run in my own personal life it didn’t help for me as a woman to expose myself to the thoughts and escapades these characters were taking part in. I chose to stop watching the show. Unfortunately, it seems I have become very lax in this field, and I am sorry to say I have managed to somehow get hooked on the crazy show again. Yesterday I read this and now I am truly CONVICTED! I am happy to say God has worked on my heart and mind and I am committing to once again clean up my life and mind. This is gonna be a hard road, but one I’m sure I’ll be happier with in the long run.

Am I saying no one should watch that specific show? No, not at all, I’m just saying that God has given me the gift of the Holy Spirit, who dwells in me. He is my Savior, my Rock, my Refuge, my Redeemer, and why in the world would I allow myself to waste precious time in life to expose myself to so much junk! Another thing I think of now (and when I initially gave up the show years ago this was not the case in my life) is that I am a mamma, I have a lot of responsibility, it’s my job to teach my children so much in life. I want to do my best to abstain from certain things in life so that when the time comes to teach my children I don’t have to say “do as I say, not as I do”, instead I can claim it as my own too!

My prayer has always been that my children would be as pure as possible in this crazy world. I feel like it’s my obligation to show them the way to make that happen as best as I can. I know this is one small way I can help to make that prayer a reality! After all, didn’t we just learn today that faith without works is dead? Here’s my chance to do the natural so that I can allow God to do the SUPER!

Thanks Cody for the post. Just so you know, God used you to reach me. It’s amazing how He does that, I love it! Thanks for committing to being a vessel that can be used by God! Keep seeking His will and growing, you never know who you’re reaching!

So in closing, tonight I say farewell to my old friend ABC! This time, I’m gonna make sure it sticks, I will no longer be waiting with baited breath for the clock to tick at 9pm on Sunday evening…instead I will find more constructive things to do with my time.

Posted in God. 6 Comments »

I will not grow weary…

Aidan: Bear is not smiling

Gramma: Really, is he sad?

Aidan: Yes

Gramma: How come?

Aidan: Cuz he doesn’t know Jesus or God.

Gramma: Oh, I see.  Do you know Jesus or God?

Aidan: Yeah Gramma, see me smile (as he gives her the biggest cheez he has)

I love that Aidan had this conversation with his Gramma! Sometimes I wonder does he hear us talking about all this? Does he get praying before bed (and some meals)?  Does he realize why we celebrate Christmas for real?  I think he is on his way to getting it! 🙂

There’s nothing like a dad and his girl!

Walked in the living room today and saw this:

img_4510Have I ever told you guys how lucky I am to have such a wonderful husband and father for my children?  Well, I’m telling all of you right now!  I’m the luckiest woman I know!  

Enjoy your day, and remember there ain’t nothing like the love of a Father with His children!  Cuz when I saw this, it reminded me of just how much our Father must love us!  Do you feel like you need your Heavenly Father today, He’s waiting for you, all you have to do is run to him like little children run to their daddies! No wonder God gave us the example of the family to learn through…

Posted in God, The fam. 1 Comment »