WHY?

Can someone please explain to me why somedays or stretches of time it’s so hard to be a mommy? I absolutely adore my kids! I absolutely adore my husband and right now I only work 1 day a week! Yet, for some reason, I can’t manage to keep things running smoothly in my household! What is up with that? Is there some crazy handbook out there that teaches how to do it? Am I really that bad at this? I’m struggling so hard lately to stay above water in the wife, mother, housekeeper department, and in all actuality, I’m pretty sure I’m drowning and not even close to above water! I guess, I’m just frustrated, and wondering how to get myself out of this pit and get things going smoothly. I get that I have 3 children under the age of 5, I get that I’m trying hard to run a KIDS environment, I get that I work part time, but I don’t get why I can’t make all this mesh together? It really can’t be rocket science…I really do want to be a “bug” on other families walls some nights and see what it’s like there!? Ok, my rant is over! Moving on~

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Lesson Learned

So I’m not sure really how to start this post. I made a huge blunder in life recently! I mean BIG…I am not going to get into the details on it, but trust me, if I did it to you, there would be problems between me and you. I felt horrible after I did it! It’s one of those things that you kick yourself over and over for, and worst of all, it impacts relationships you have for a really long time. I hate those mess ups in life. The hardest part is to move on. You can ask for forgiveness from people and they can say yes, but truth be told, there is a long period before things ever go back to “normal”. With some people things never go back to “normal”. So, in the midst of it all I can say I learned my lesson, so to speak. I hate how sometimes in life you struggle and struggle with the same “pit” over and over. It’s so frustrating, the funny thing is as I went through this it helped me to realize just a little bit more about the love of my Saviour. As I was hurting because of the stunt I pulled (which is crazy because in all actuality it’s the other person who hurts, but somehow guilt makes you feel crazy awful) anyway, at one point, my son, who has no idea what was going on inside of me, comes to me, out of the clear blue, and says “mom, I love you”. Wow!!! I needed to hear that! I needed that so much. Then I started thinking to myself, oh man, one day, Aidan or Cameron is going to find themselves in a situation where they feel awful about themselves and what they did. Ouch! I can’t even stand to think of that day! Then I thought, how I hope they come to me, because, truth be told, there is NOTHING and I mean NOTHING they can do to make me love them any less. I would just want to hold them, and listen to them, and let them cry in my arms. I would just want to comfort them! So that leads me to this thought. Actually a couple thoughts:

1. Sometimes a child no matter how old, needs their mom or dad
2. Amazing to me the love a parent has for their child and how it’s never changing no matter what is done in life (don’t think you really get this until you have children).
3. If a parental love on this earth (which is full of sin and distress) is this strong how much stronger and bigger and mammoth is the love of our Heavenly Father for us? I mean He is perfect love!

Okay, that third one got me good! That’s crazy! He loves me! He loves you! He loves my kids, and your kids, and your parents, and your siblings! He loves us more than we could ever even begin to imagine! That’s crazy, that’s awesome, that’s huge! I know Him personally, He is my heavenly Father, and I have His love ALL of the time!

Ever feel like you’re running on empty?

Cuz that about sums up how I’m felling right about now! It’s been a great day home with the kids. We have a busy weekend coming up. I have a million things I should be doing, but after writing this post, frankly I think I’m going to bed! I hate when I get into these cycles, where I have so much I want to accomplish but just can’t get myself motivated to do it! Do you ever feel that way? I’m thinking some sleep and time in prayer will help me out of this little rut I’m in! So on that note: GOOD NIGHT!running-empty

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Why Delta? Why?

Okay, so I had to write this essay thingy awhile back about why I should win a ticket to the Beth Moore conference for ministers wives. I saw the contest a long time ago and thought, yeah! I can do this. So, I wrote my little essay and sent it in. After all, as a mother of two young children, I usually take the time to write essays each week, so this should be a breeze! In the midst of it all I found a cousin of mine who also entered the contest too, which was totally reminding me what a small world it is! Anyway, they were suppose to email the winner a couple Mondays ago and I never received an email. Which is exactly what I would expect, because truth be told, I never really win anything unless it’s a honeymoon for two people to some exotic spot in the caribbean and all I have to do is give them my checking account number and we get the trip all expenses paid! But then, why would they need my checking account number? Who knows, I just gave it anyway. But that’s a whole nother post on my gullibility. As I was saying, I went about life after that Monday passed. But then this Monday night I open my email and found this:

Congratulations ladies! You all are winners of the Living Proof Live ticket
contest for Minister’s wives. Please let me know if you can attend. Please
reply with the name of who will be attending and we will provide the ticket
at will call. Thanks!

So, lifeway gave away 10 tickets to ministers wives and I WAS ONE! Here is the catch. It’s in Nashville, TN this Friday and Saturday! When I initially wrote the essay thingy, the tix to fly to TN were only $250, they are now up to a whopping $411! You know, because the airlines don’t make enough when they suck $250 out of us for a quick trip south. They need to be sure they cover the cost of the pillow and blanket I may request and that can of Diet Coke and peanuts I need to hold my appetite over until we land. So therefore they have had a change of heart and need to charge me $411 to now get to TN.

So, needless to say, I won’t be attending, which really stinks! Out of all the conferences I’ve been to or been invited to, this one has me salivating the most to go! And, at then end of this saga, I can never say ” I never win anything”, but instead I can say, “I never win anything that I can actually go to”. Let me tell you, if this conference ever happens again, I will go even without a winning ticket! It’s a commitment I am making to myself today! Unless of course I win some exotic honeymoon vacation for two, then I’ll be there with Michael.
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hmmmffff…

Just one of those moments in life…you know where you wonder about so many things? I hate that. I have been a little behind with the blogging. Just trying to spend lots of time with the kids lately. Sometimes I feel like I let the computer get ahead of quality time with them. I’m doing a lot of praying and thinking and most likely will be limiting my time online to after their bed time. I’m not totally sure yet, but if that’s the case I’ll be around a little less frequently.

We will see, after all, you only have them around once and I heard from a source this week that it goes quicker than “a blink of an eye…I mean it A BLINK”…so, on that quote, I’m gonna trust that source and try my best to not take any moment for granted.

Oh, so lets get back to where I started (if you haven’t caught on yet, I tend to digress).
Anyway, I hate how sometimes my mind wanders…it goes places that leaves me insecure and even upset sometimes. It’s during these times I know I need to get into the WORD and spend some time with my Savior! Since I know that, I guess I better be going and doing it. I’ll catch up with you guys next week! See ya.

It’s that time of year!

I believe, after all the fun festivities, busy schedules, and late nights, that Cameron has fallen victim to the common cold! Yup, it’s true just check her out…
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Her poor little nose, I’ll be taking out stock in Puffs Plus tissue this week, and you should too! You’ll probably make some good money on it, thanks to us!

Posted in cranky. 5 Comments »

ughhhh!

Can’t get into much right now, but some days I wish I never woke up…and this, my friend, is one of those days.  I am so lucky to have two sweetie pies for kids, and a very supportive husband.  Since I wish today never came, I think I will hit the pillow now.  This way perhaps it will end quicker and I can start a new day fresh.  Good night all!