What fits me these days?

I haven’t written a post in so long I’m not totally sure where to even start! So, I’ll just start with last week! Here we are about 20 weeks into our church launch. I know if you read back to previous posts I constantly strugglewith this: where do I fit into this whole church thing? Really, what fits me in this church as ministry? I know my heart belongs to women’s ministry someday. But I also know that right now my heart belongs to four beautiful people: my wonderful and caring husband Michael, my hilarious four year old Aidan, my fun loving two year old Cameron, and my precious newborn Callie. To be honest, with such a young family my main focus is being home.

But truth be told when it comes to Catalyst Church I somehow found myself right in the center of CatalystKIDS- our children’s ministry at Catalyst Church. Since ministering here I have whole heartedly decided when we are able to have a children’s pastor I will bring them their favorite coffee each and every Sunday and send them thank you notes and make them dinner frequently! It’s a difficult ministry but a fun, rewarding, exciting, and life changing ministry at the very same time. But here is where I’m going with this post. About a year ago I was talking with someone about coming to Catalyst Church…this specific person, whom may I add, I love dearly! Wasn’t sure if Catalyst was where God wanted them. I asked why? (I just had to know…it’s not like me to leave well enough alone, but at the same time my relationship with this person is close enough I could ask why and not be condemned)…the reply was this:

Because I want to know I’m doing ministry for God, that I’m tithing for God, that I’m attending for God. Not for you and not for Michael!

At the time I settled for the answer but I really didn’t understand or wrap my mind around the concept at all. My how things change! This past Sunday, Catalyst Church, had their very first communion service. Our pastor had a special early service for all the people who were working in kids ministry that day (that blew my mind and I loved him for doing that…although I love him no matter what, but that’s beside the point right now). Anyway, I was able to take part in communion, to worship, to examine myself and suddenly, at the very front row of church that conversation came back and hit me square in the face! Why am I serving and serving in CatalystKIDS? Is it for my husband, is it just so the doors stay open each Sunday at Catalyst (how silly I would even think that I alone keep the doors open to something Christ wants in our community, surely if I didn’t do it He would provide! Funny how a girl can forget that!…ummm can I say more of You and less of me) is it for my kids? Is it for selfish reasons? Is it for the wrong reason? OR is it solely for JESUS? OUCH!!! Need I say more? I examined, I begged forgiveness, I asked God to use me like never before. Now, I have this burning desire to spend time with my Savior, to be in that children’ts atmosphere each week, to bring the lost children to Jesus! I can’t wait to spend next Sunday in CatalystKIDS! and to know whole heartedly, I’m there for the right reasons…FINALLY!


3 Responses to “What fits me these days?”

  1. altonwoods Says:

    As I was reading your blog, I recognized some of my own struggles that I’ve been dealing with lately. As it stands, I tell myself that if what I’m doing is about me (ego related) then when it doesn’t meet my expectations or serve my needs I’ll quit! But, if what I’m doing is Gods business then my only concern is that I’m obedient to what I believe is His will and calling on my life.

    As you said,

    “how silly I would even think that I alone keep the doors open to something Christ wants in our community, surely if I didn’t do it He would provide!”

    We can easily lose perspective of who’s in charge, or of our own importance, but what a relief it is to trust in Him alone!

    May God Bless the ministry you and your husband work in!

  2. Dennis Wilson Says:

    Rachel I’m still here so don’t worry lol.
    And I’m so happy for you!

  3. rachellarkin Says:

    Alton, thank you so much for the comment, I appreciate your insight as well! Thanks for reading 🙂

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