WHY?

Can someone please explain to me why somedays or stretches of time it’s so hard to be a mommy? I absolutely adore my kids! I absolutely adore my husband and right now I only work 1 day a week! Yet, for some reason, I can’t manage to keep things running smoothly in my household! What is up with that? Is there some crazy handbook out there that teaches how to do it? Am I really that bad at this? I’m struggling so hard lately to stay above water in the wife, mother, housekeeper department, and in all actuality, I’m pretty sure I’m drowning and not even close to above water! I guess, I’m just frustrated, and wondering how to get myself out of this pit and get things going smoothly. I get that I have 3 children under the age of 5, I get that I’m trying hard to run a KIDS environment, I get that I work part time, but I don’t get why I can’t make all this mesh together? It really can’t be rocket science…I really do want to be a “bug” on other families walls some nights and see what it’s like there!? Ok, my rant is over! Moving on~

Posted in cranky. 3 Comments »

THE PERFECT SNOWY DAY…

So, I hear we’re due for some more snow in the forecast on Wednesday! I was sitting in my living room thinking about the snow, being snowed in, and being able to go out in the snow. So, heres my question what is the perfect snowy day to you? Here’s my perfect day!
First I’d sleep in, then I would get up and get ready, go to Panera Bread and have some delicious soup and a dessert. Then I’d go to the mall and shop for a couple hours. I’d come home make some cookies and sit down and watch movies until I fell asleep! Now that is one relaxing snowy day in my mind! I’d like to say I would go sledding but in all reality I’m not a girl that likes the cold. I have maybe sledded about 5 times total in my adult life. Although, when I went tubing one cold night during the days of LP, I loved every moment! So, wondering what is your idea of a perfect snowy day?

So Long Insecurity!

I’ve got to get this out in the open. As if you didn’t know already, but the truth is helping your man launch a church is hard work! I thought that was the hardest part, and in all reality, it is, at least emotionally speaking. But now here we are with our church launched and there are just a million or two things that have to be done. Between preparing for CatalystKIDS, responding to emails, working, raising a family, and loving on my husband I have somehow let a little of myself go! Yeah, I know, hard to believe (NOT!!!). Anyway, I read a post from a friend of mine talking about how you have to love yourself from the inside. I do, I think, maybe, a little, possibly?? No, really now, I do love some aspects of myself. But I believe, if every woman sat down and really thought about it, there is some aspect of her life she may feel insecure about! I just know it. The truth is I’ve been dying to start a Bible Study, one where I can be accountable and really dig in, yet at the same time with everything I have going on in my life I just don’t have loads of time. SO, I ordered this book:

and I’m going to take part in the Bible Study on the LPM BLOG and see what God has in store for me! I’m so excited. If anyone out there wants to do this with me, I’d love to see you on that blog and hear from you too! That’s all for now, I have a four year old just waiting to play some “Playmobile” and a two year old getting ready to wake from a nap wanting a manicure! SEE YA 🙂

What fits me these days?

I haven’t written a post in so long I’m not totally sure where to even start! So, I’ll just start with last week! Here we are about 20 weeks into our church launch. I know if you read back to previous posts I constantly strugglewith this: where do I fit into this whole church thing? Really, what fits me in this church as ministry? I know my heart belongs to women’s ministry someday. But I also know that right now my heart belongs to four beautiful people: my wonderful and caring husband Michael, my hilarious four year old Aidan, my fun loving two year old Cameron, and my precious newborn Callie. To be honest, with such a young family my main focus is being home.

But truth be told when it comes to Catalyst Church I somehow found myself right in the center of CatalystKIDS- our children’s ministry at Catalyst Church. Since ministering here I have whole heartedly decided when we are able to have a children’s pastor I will bring them their favorite coffee each and every Sunday and send them thank you notes and make them dinner frequently! It’s a difficult ministry but a fun, rewarding, exciting, and life changing ministry at the very same time. But here is where I’m going with this post. About a year ago I was talking with someone about coming to Catalyst Church…this specific person, whom may I add, I love dearly! Wasn’t sure if Catalyst was where God wanted them. I asked why? (I just had to know…it’s not like me to leave well enough alone, but at the same time my relationship with this person is close enough I could ask why and not be condemned)…the reply was this:

Because I want to know I’m doing ministry for God, that I’m tithing for God, that I’m attending for God. Not for you and not for Michael!

At the time I settled for the answer but I really didn’t understand or wrap my mind around the concept at all. My how things change! This past Sunday, Catalyst Church, had their very first communion service. Our pastor had a special early service for all the people who were working in kids ministry that day (that blew my mind and I loved him for doing that…although I love him no matter what, but that’s beside the point right now). Anyway, I was able to take part in communion, to worship, to examine myself and suddenly, at the very front row of church that conversation came back and hit me square in the face! Why am I serving and serving in CatalystKIDS? Is it for my husband, is it just so the doors stay open each Sunday at Catalyst (how silly I would even think that I alone keep the doors open to something Christ wants in our community, surely if I didn’t do it He would provide! Funny how a girl can forget that!…ummm can I say more of You and less of me) is it for my kids? Is it for selfish reasons? Is it for the wrong reason? OR is it solely for JESUS? OUCH!!! Need I say more? I examined, I begged forgiveness, I asked God to use me like never before. Now, I have this burning desire to spend time with my Savior, to be in that children’ts atmosphere each week, to bring the lost children to Jesus! I can’t wait to spend next Sunday in CatalystKIDS! and to know whole heartedly, I’m there for the right reasons…FINALLY!

It’s been awhile, so much has changed

okay, okay, okay! I know, it’s been awhile since I’ve updated. I’ve been busy…you know, having a baby, helping to launch a church, working in the kids ministry at Catalyst Church, and starting back to work. I’m hoping to be a regular on here again pretty quickly! Let’s see how I do…anyone out there anymore? Just curious??? Well stay tuned there really is more to come.

HELP!!!!!!!

I’m desperate to get into a GOOD Bible Study…I have somehow let that go on the wayside with everything that’s been going on lately! It’s no excuse whatsoever, but none the less it’s where I’m at. I’m not saying I have to have a long, in-depth study. I’m not sure at this point in my life that would actually be feasible. After all, I want it to be something I can hit everyday and grow spiritually. I’m thinking with two young children and another child on the way it may be absurd to think I can sit and do a 45-60 minute study each night or morning. So, here’s where all of you come in…does anyone know of a GOOD study out there? It can be on anything, throw some ideas out there and I’ll do the research from there on which study will best fit where I’m at spiritually right now! I’d love to hear your ideas and your input! Thanks so much! I’m dying to see who will respond to this post!!! Although I may have lost all my loyal readers cuz I seem to never post anymore. I’d love to tell you that will change, but lets not commit to something I can’t guarantee to come through on! Have a good night and start commenting! I can’t wait 🙂

gotta a lot on my mind….

now to get it on paper or keyboard sometime soon? Who knows we’ll see!